by Kitty Michelle

A Toast of Blood and Soul

Their second Meeting

“Now that you are here, you might like to pour me a teapot of blood, would you?” said the Queen
“Indeed. As much as you might enjoy and be so kind as to repay me with a teapot of your soul.” replied in a slightly daring way the girl
“Daring, aren’t we?” replied the Queen, then continuing, “Well, a cup of soul for a cup of blood—now that sounds fair. Plus, you sound amusing and cute.”
“Aren’t they made of the same substance, after all?”
continued the girl, challenging like no one ever dared to be.
“Mmmh. Maybe You are here for this. I sense things about you—things I do not think you are aware of. You do not share your blood so easily. Not You, isn’t that right?”
“You do not share cups of You so easily. Not You, isn’t that right?”
“Who are you?” “
I am you. A part of you.”

“Then You have a cup of me already, and apparently, I have You. Looks like the Goddess is sipping me, and I am sipping Her. Still, You want my blood. Why so?”
“Sweet girl, it looks like you are greedy for knowledge and more. Well, there is more. You will understand that in due time. For now, you can imagine that I seek the same things you seek.”

“Mmhh, for your information, having a part, as you say, does not quench thirst. Not even by a bit. I have questions, and I am not the kind of person who is content with parts when I seek the whole.”

“People say you are the sweetest of the women in the shell of a girl. They know very little of you, trust me.”
“If You say so, it must be true. Being here, I can only walk this path and drink this chalice. So let’s assume it is as You say and I am here because of You being a part of me, and me being one of You. Then let’s go on and mix and melt—so that maybe it will all make sense.”

“Maybe we already did this. I mean, we started m.e.l.t.i.n.g. already.”
She pronounced every single letter of that word with a tone and pace that sounded like hypnotic, liquid sex. The ghost handmaids sitting on the sides of her couch sighed and exhaled a moan that seemed a mixture between the hint of an orgasm and a suffering breath. Then she continued:

“Wonderful. So, it looks like I can be pleased and have my cup of blood.”

“It’s yours. It needs and wants in You,” replied the girl, in a subservient yet at the same time demanding way.

“Do You still want a cup of darkness?”
“You said I am a part of You. I don’t think I should ask for that anymore, should I?”

“That is wrong. You should learn to ask. You should do that—to me—each day. I am going to have You learn that, and trust me, You’ll be taught unimaginable truths, my way. Even what You already have—if You need it—you must learn to ask for it. You might end up surprised. I might be very rewarding. You will discover that when You ask, You will end up having much more than You thought You wanted. You will be rewarded with what You truly need. Oh, but this—you feel it already. It’s the part of me, in You, already, that spoke and will speak to You. I feel Your part in me.”

“May I offer You a cup of blood?” *SMILE
“Oh, you just made me smile. You just took a microscopic sip of my soul and darkness. You are adorable. How was it? How powerful do you feel? You sense it shaking you, don’t you? I sense You. So empowering. How was it?”

“Luminous,” she said, turning her head up and staring with green flames in her eyes.

“You are terrible, a terrible girl. Perfect. It will be fun.”

“Yes, I am.
W/we both are.“

by Kitty Michelle

Premonitions and Desires

As they parted from each other at the end of their first encounter, the Queen recalled the moment when it had become clear to Her that She would meet ‘The Girl’ someday. 

She closed Her eyes and brought to mind the exact words She had confessed to the only woman She truly trusted about this premonition. In doing so, She played the game of remembering them, comparing them to what had just happened. 

“Freya, I keep seeing her, I keep dreaming about her, and I know she keeps dreaming about me. I have many other dreams. They are sweet, but strangely, they are also filled with blood, lust, and demons. Those creatures are my past, and I live with them, but still, I keep seeing them—and also the girl, ‘the girl,’ in those and other dreams. 

She appears in them as a side figure, just for brief moments, but she exists. She is many animals, creatures, and then she is back as a woman, a girl—the one she probably is. There is one more thing: when I dream about her, I know she dreams about me. I know I will meet her.” 

She remembered saying these words to Freya while maintaining Her perfect balance, feigning indifference, checking Her sword, Her weapons, Her whip measured in every gesture, as She was accustomed to doing. Her Royal spirit and natural beauty, although tentatively hidden beneath a cold and rebellious attitude, were so strikingly powerful that no one could stand close to Her without wondering what She was hiding. Her curves beneath the too-masculine jacket, her nipples brushing against the black fabric, the pearl-like allure of her navel at the center of her toned abdomen, her private scent, and the secret chambers her mind could host.

As She spoke those words, shivers and thrills of excitement silently crawled up and down Her spine. Naughty as She was, She now played the game of remembering those sensations as well. Naughty as She was, She remembered closing Her eyes, savoring them, challenging them to awaken creamy pleasures She would suppress, inflicting Herself with sweet, delightful pain that heightened Her enjoyment. 

“I know you see her. I knew you were seeing something. It has been months since I started noticing, and I saw it growing. I was waiting for You to tell me about them, little one.” 

Thus replied Freya, the only one in the Universe allowed to address the Queen this way. With those words, once again, Freya proved capable of feeling Her, respecting the bond between them while making those thrills nearly impossible to contain. 

“You are naughty—naughty and amazing, …mother,” She said, turning Her gaze from the blade of Her sword to Freya. As She did so, Her hair swayed naturally, exuding a sexiness that could have unleashed lust even from a Saint.

“I need to meet her. I need it to happen, and she needs it too. I know how it will have to happen. It will have to be here; she will need to find her way to me. I am waiting for that day, and I know it will come. I know she is searching for the way to me, and I will ease that. I will be with two little sexy ghouls, Luna and Selene, by my side. I want them bleeding, and I want the girl to see it that day—it will be… energy. I will study her, and she will see something about me.”

She closed the statement with a smile, almost a soft moan, allowing Herself to let it slide—how much She desired that day to come.

by Kitty Michelle

The Humming of Truth

Those words penetrated her, finding a place to exist in her mind, and from there, they began to hum to her soul. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop that low, intense humming. She knew she needed to follow it, to let it grow and eventually turn into drums that would lead her—who knew where. She had known it from the very beginning. That awareness had built up, inevitable, as they spoke, and it was the reason she stood so bravely before the Queen.

A sort of dizziness started building within her. As uncomfortable as it was, she decided not to hide it. Truth was what she needed from the Queen, so truth was what she was willing to offer in return.
“That is the only currency a soul can pay, the only meaningful one,”
she had been taught by her Wolf, and she was ready to start paying.

The two angelic, ghostly creatures uncrossed their legs and moved, turning from facing outward to face the Pirate Vampire Queen. Their dresses swished softly, revealing glimpses of skin, their nipples growing taut as they leaned closer, nearly brushing against the Queen’s face. They whispered doubts, scandalously lustful temptations. The Queen did not make a single move; she remained immobile and cold, staring forward at the baby dragon girl while the two spirits craved her attention, inebriating the room with their scents and sinuous movements.

Fire built up within the girl. She wanted that glass—wanted to grasp it, drink it all, and smash it to the floor. She wanted to reach the Vampire Queen, place her palms on her cheeks, grab her face, tilt her head upward, and stare into her eyes, breathing her breath, sealing a promise with that closeness, uncaring of the spirits pressing against her.

She was ready to pounce, to speak, to reveal, to rawr her need to know about Her. She wished for all that and more. But she did none of it.

Instead, she closed her eyes, nodded, took a deep breath, and lowered her head. Then she lifted it again.

“If I will ever dance FOR you, then you will learn what it feels in having to someone with the fire inside to dance FOR you,”
she said, her tone almost challenging. Her eyes shifted ever so slightly to the left and right as she spoke. She had never felt like this before—rage, need, wild, sheer desire swirling within her.

by Kitty Michelle

The Deal

{Part 2}

The whole of the words from the Pirate Queen, or whatever She was, hit the girl like a storm collecting leaves and everything through the path and slamming them in her face. Truths, questions and the need of endless answers were now starting to pour onto her. 

It was now her turn to breath, stand, being hit and inhale all of that in the hope it would make sense, once inside her soul.

“Lady, I do not know what You are talking about, but I know I will get it.
I am stubborn, I did not harm anyone and, damn, I need to make sense of this and oh, one more thing, I am not fucking naive, I am no Dragon or other crazy things and I do not possibly get how You could know things about me, and speak to me like that mindfucking my soul.
Yes, I did have a Guiding Spirit through my life, and for you to know he is a Wolf, he protected me from a World that did not allow me to be me, and … no, no, NO.
By the way this the time for me to share more of myself, sorry. I am shocked enough and I do not know You deeply enough yet to reveal personal things that are sacred to me. Maybe this might happen one day? Ppftt, boh. Heavens will decide.
This said, I never saw anyone capable like You, Miss, so, I bow respectfully to this and to You and once again I openly tell You I would appreciate Your help for me to understand what is it of my life right now.”

She took a deep breath and bowed with her head, splendid in her pride and sprinkling battling youth, holding no weapon if not her thin slender body covered by a butterfly light glowing gown.

“Oh girl, oh Baby Dragon. Now I do see even better the Baby Dragon you are.” (These words made the girl even more silently furious) I see how dangerous you can be. So dangerous is your sweetness that you do not even come close to realise it, you know? And that makes it even more dangerous: a magnet, an armour, a weapon too maybe.

You say You are no Dragon, honestly, you know what? I laugh at your statement.
I am bold, I am pleased, I am merciless and I laugh at that, and it is a good thing, and no disrespect in my laugh, but admiration.
Oh, Baby Dragon Girl, You do have sight, we both possess it, and both displayed it.
You do see the ghosts nobody sees, in the same manner I tell You I do see Dragons, like nobody does. I can add that You hold one of them right inside, right now, and it screams. It needs … something”

Then she stretched forward, the voice turned into deep seriousness with no trace of playfulness whatsoever.

“Now listen: I want to make a deal with You.
If You will hang here, I will protect You, I will even teach you about Dragons, and address You to someone truly special who can do that. She’ll do that for me, and she did it for none before.
You will be free to move in this realm, and it is something I do not grant easily. 
That’s something has been granted only three times in history, something hurt me with disappointment and something that created these sweet ghosts, among many more things …
You do see ghosts, and things. I do see Dragons (and more).
You will learn about me, I am no secretive about it, bold I am. Some things might shock You, some others might sound like a music You already know but You forgot.

Tell me, do You see a trap in all this?
Do you see a trap in my offer?”

As she finished speaking these words their orbs meet. Emerald green met the vampiric blue-grey. That was enough for them to link. Their breath adjusted. The girl started breathing deeper, slower, and the Queen shortened her breath, adjusting to the freshness of the girl’s own breath. Then the girl spoke.

“Knowledge. I promised to seek that, to myself, and to Wolf, and I learnt it is the only way for me to live as I should and what I was created for. I will follow that. I will seek knowledge and I will do that because I want to do it, ok?

Lady, yes, I do sense danger in this. I do sense I could probably get hurt in ways going beyond what I can stand. But still, in name of knowledge, I do sense I have to do it.

Lady, I will be here, I will give You the little sight I can have and I thank You for Your offer. I do not sense traps. I do sense danger and somehow I am not fearing it, or rather I am but I am ready to take the risk. Fear is a friend to me though, such as pain.
Thank You.”

At her words the two spirits at the sides of the Queen got uneasy, they kept muttering incomprehensible things and doing that till the girl stopped speaking. At that point the Lady raised one hand, and they got muted. Then instead of answering to the girl’s words, or maybe to let time pass before doing it she explained

“I was not precise, at the beginning, but now I can tell you the first bit of truth about the spirits you see around me.
These are not truly truly truly ghosts in the literal sense.

These are two of the Angels that have been sent to me, by the heavens and the fate. They are part of my history. You might encounter more entities like them in the next future. I do not regret my history and I walk the sands of time with all the luggage of my entire life always with me. I am like that.

Remember, there is a difference between and angel and “Saints”, and they are no Saints, oh no.
In every angel there is the demoniac, to tempt.
In every demon there is the angelic, to rescue.
Once we recognise it, we are safe, we are sane. It can be handled.
The ones you see, my heaven’s sent angels, they sold their soul and by doing that they have lost their wings.

Now they bleed. Some do bleed more, some, less. They bleed and they want to bleed and to offer me their blood. They keep doing it, they can’t stop doing it but their blood is no good to me, they will tempt me for ever. They think their blood is good to me, so they will always tempt me, it is not their fault. Blood from cut wings is no good blood for me.

As for me, I do give them shelter. Will there be redemption for them? A way out from this? Yes, there is, but I cannot tell them what it is.
But now: time to relax, and for us to celebrate this deal.
It could lead to good things, or the mutual destruction.

A teller once told me I would have met a Dragon and She could be the only one capable of really hurting me, and I could be the only one, capable of terminating her. She did not tell me the end of the story though.

Let’s celebrate, BabyDragon. Fortune tellers are naughty witches.

I wish you to dance, dance for me, something tells me you love to dance.”

by Kitty Michelle

{The Realm} – Meeting with the Queen

This was how she landed into became her new home, her new world: The Realm, and how, before she could make any sense of it, she was to Her, the One who governed it, the Queen of it all, for what she could tell.

Queen B. sat on a Chesterfield leather armchair, very much like a throne. At first sight, she looked like a mix of a pirate, a mistress, and a noble dark lady. She was decadently royal; every garment, jewel, and accessory seemed both from another age and timeless.

Her left arm held a glass. Around her neck, a green emerald over her Victorian jabot was the only colorful touch, complementing the black, grey, and silver of her figure. The green of that stone and the gold of her hair cast light upon the incarnate of her face. If words could describe that sight, they would likely be these: “inhumanly beautiful.”

“So, finally, here you are,” she said, lifting her head and revealing her gaze of blue and grey. Mesmerizing eyes they were—powerful, capable of paralyzing anyone, their mere existence a weapon. Through the ages, those eyes had proven capable of casting spells, freezing hearts, haunting souls, even becoming a curse.

Somehow momentarily immune to the power of that vision, Miuki did not hesitate to reply, respectfully but almost boldly.

“Yes, M’Lady. I have been led here, so here I am. I was guided by the gentlest of women, but I do not know who you are, who the two girls sitting at your sides are, where we are, or why I am here. There are many things I do not know, but perhaps you have answers.”

She displayed courtesy but did not hide that she was deeply disturbed by the shocking events that had led her to this place.

The Queen felt amusement, enjoying the character and surprise in the girl’s answer. She slightly tilted her head forward and to the left, resting the base of her crystal goblet on the leather of her pants. Then, in a low, seductive tone, she added:

“Oh, so you see them? Amazing. You are truly surprising. That is… promising.

But I knew you were special, or you wouldn’t be here. The figures you see—most people would call them ghosts. They are spirits who decided to stay by my side, and, well, we could say they are alive. You need not worry about them. I am very pleased you can see them; very few people do. I’m impressed.”

A moment of silence followed, likely intentional, to observe the effect of her words. Then, rotating the glass in her hand to create a dance of deep red reflections:

“I’d offer you a sip, but I guess you do not drink blood, do you? Besides, I do not generally share blood. It is the most sacred of essences—it is liquid life.”

She rotated the glass again, and as she spoke, she exhaled, then inhaled deeply. Her chest rose, her shoulders lifted, and all of her seemed to grow. The aura of power around her intensified, rising in a controlled, deliberate display. It was like witnessing the silent potential of a tsunami—not yet unleashed but undeniably present.

The two beautiful, ghostly creatures beside her murmured softly, helplessly spellbound by the cold, sensual tones of her words and her breath, as if struggling to control their arousal within their gowns.

Then, as the tide of her breath receded, she continued:

“People think they are angels. They are not. Perhaps they crave to be saints or martyrs, but they have sins. What they truly crave is to bleed, though they do not admit it to themselves. They fight their very nature. I have watched this battle for ages, and I never tire of it. But it is time for me to have more—though I do enjoy them. Perhaps that is another reason you are here. Maybe.” She grinned.

“As for me, I do not fight what I am. I embrace it. That is what makes me who I am, to them. But you… you are interesting. A baby dragon with a naïve soul, raised by a wolf. It is clear to me why our paths have crossed. We have never had a dragon here. You are a challenge. I like challenges.”

“But perhaps no one has truly told you what you are. And that, well, is even more intriguing.”

by Kitty Michelle

Visions, Dreams, The Voyage

Visions, dreams, flashes,
they kept coming, like drops filling an empty glowing thirsty jar. Sometimes it was many a day, sometimes it was nothingness, leaving her lost and needy. They kept coming though and now they started to seem paintbrushes of what must have been her life, prior to all this.
So this is what she “had been”: an incomplete girl in search of something, living in a place called Japan, on a different world, capable of speaking to a part of her soul she called “Wolf”, then giving herself to something greater.

“𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 is what 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘔𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘪 𝘔𝘪𝘺𝘶𝘬𝘪 𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘢𝘯”

She remembered these words, they kept echoing in her mind, now that she was in this NewerLand, NeverLand, WhatwereLand. Both aware and unaware it was not depending on her anymore. She was here now and she had to live it. Whether or not ‘living it’ was the correct way to describe was a meaningless detail.
Rehearsing those words and gathering strength from them for the millionth time, while walking the Great Corridor she had these new/old questions with her.

𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 “𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘧” 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦.
𝘐 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭?
𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦: 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨?
𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?
𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘣𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬?
𝘗𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦….

The Corridor seemed to never end; at the same time, it somehow seemed to close behind her with each step she took. She spiraled into this alley until she found herself escorted by two creatures. One was a man—or so he seemed—and the other a woman, though neither of them was truly human, or at least they were so ethereal they seemed unreal.

Neither of them uttered a single word; instead, pressing close to her sides, they raised a hand in unison, pointing in a direction for her to follow. It was at that moment that she fainted, only to awaken escorted by those who now revealed themselves to be armed guards, in an enormous hall.

A dark-toned, soft carpet, with a pattern that seemed to be alive, stretched from her bare feet to the end of the room, where a throne stood with three figures, only the central one illuminated.

by Kitty Michelle

Awareness {4}

That One was not her country.
That One was not her family.
That One was not her bloodline.

She knew all that, yet she also felt like it was the closest thing to home she could have had. She felt it was her fate, a stage in the path of her existence

𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦.
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵? 
𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘦? 
𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵?

That was a question she started asked herself many years before and to which she still did not had an answer.

She got transplanted in a place living traditions of centuries before, learning forgotten arts, being educated in a way not belong to the time she lived.
She was left handed, she got forced to use her right hand. She was a girl, she got raised like a boy. 
She was dreams, she got forced to be pure ratio.
Still she felt the need to give her best and learn the most she could.

𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘭, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.

She felt she was destined to something different. Under that strict discipline she developed the ability to secretly communicate to her spirit and ended up convinced she could feel answers and voices from the energy of the planet, in a world where technology was the new religion and the law of macroeconomics the new sacred text.

𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘧, 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴.
𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦 ?

𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆


by Kitty Michelle

Getting Ready {3}

Wolf, have you been following me ?

Kitty, yes, as always. Did a single day pass in which my howl was not in you, my eyes not over you, my blood not there to ignite you?

Wolf, no, still you left isn’t it?

Kitty, no it was not “leaving”.
You needed something more than your Wolf, and you went for it. You need that in Your life. I am proud to see you struggled and still struggle when you need. I am proud to see you held and kneeled when, after speaking your noisy arguments, you know that kneeling must exist, and it is not up to you anymore. I am proud to see you did not cage that soul of Yours that you decided to live in its entirety, making me not necessary to you for that and giving that part of you to something higher that a protecting grumpy wolf.
I am proud to see You have what You need, and you will never regret having your Wolf. I am proud of having left that place.
I see You better today, much better.

Wolf, it’s raining.
Rain is kisses.
Springtime is around the corner.
I was close to deciding to live without singing, I was close to embrace the temptation of fading. I was close to put on a cloak. I admit I have been close to silence my colours.

Kitty, a dark cloak would not look good on you. Look at yourself, look at how funny you are. High heels, red thighs, a way too short leather jacket, gloves, a red scarf, and by the way, your ears are glowing. You are no dark cloak.
Luckily every now and then you dress better.

Wolf, all this years and you can still be funny, you know?
We’ll stay connected forever, I feel that.

Kitty, it’s raining and you are smiling, and the Goddess is burning within you. Drag Your funny ass where you need to go and then come back for a chat whenever you want.
Equinox is coming, and it will coincide with a full moon.

Wolf, yes, I don’t know where I will be, I had many dreams and my senses are changing, evolving, as it was predicted.
Equinox and full moon are coming, and they will coincide.
What better? 
I do not know why I am saying that, but I know there are things coming.
On top of that it is raining, and rain is kisses.
Did I say that?

by Kitty Michelle

Rainy Thoughts {2}

She sat there looking straight in front of her, dressed in all the finesse she was capable of, as she always did, just even more, girlish as she was. It seemed as if she readied for a ritual, something deeply felt and requiring all her attention and care, and soul, and love and more. The rain was pouring and hitting on her, and she was apparently calm, immersed in a surreal calm.


‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Oooooh Wolf, my inner Wolf.Ooh Wolf, my precious inner who always defended me in my youth years, good morning to you. ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, You have not been addressing me as Kitty anymore. You call me “girl” now. You thought I didn’t notice, but I do.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘯𝘰. 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦, 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭?

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, please don’t hit on me. This is not the point. Should I call you human names? I could, yes I could. I won’t do it though. You will always be Wolf for me. Some things are forever. Remember that, remember how it is for the little me. You grew me, you should know how I am.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦-𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦? 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘸 … 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰?

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, you change subject, you know I don’t like it, I am kitty, not girl but i don’t like the sound of “girl” on your lips, it creates distance and you know I suffer distance from those I held precious. Anyway, shifting to your question, I have been waiting, this is what I have been doing. For a whole night I have been waiting, here, on the floor, not a minute of rest, whether there was someone around or not. My soul did not let me do anything else than this, so I got ready and did it, in order to be able to then live, in order to to what was to be done by me.I haven’t slept a single minute. I was stronger than I ever thought I was. Rain has not been the only thing flowing, pouring. I tried to do it pretty and perfect, and I held, oh, if I held. I knelt, listened, watched, sat, breathed, watched, listened, waited outside, got the rain, and I held, and I listened and I made myself visible.That, at least that, you have to recognise. My soul did not let me not rest, she let me do nothing else but sit outside the door and wait, or fight, if you prefer. In prettiness. Trust me, I was stronger than I ever thought I could be. To stand up, or to claim wrongs I did not do would have been easier. To rise a sword would have been easier. I sat and accepted. I am still sitting. I will be me as you taught me I should be.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘐 𝘵𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥? 𝘐𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘳?

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf. To not rise but rather lower the sword, with honour, that is fighting too. Once again, you won’t tempt me and trick me. You taught me that. That is what you taught me. I sat all night. I did not sold out a single breath of myself. There has been a lot of blood. There has been a lot of negative, a lot. There has been so much more going on in the kneeling night than 8 days of rage could hold.Look at me. I am still here. I sat with no sword.Pieces of me are broken, windows are broken but I am sitting, for how long more, I do not know, but here I am and will be.
I could have fought, but I brought no sword. I have my colours, I have my shamisen.I brought my shamisen I had songs ready. I sat with songs ready, and flowers, and rain to sweep it all.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ 𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, there are things that are first times. On top of it, some of them can be given one time only. The first kiss of Kitty, is her “first kiss”. There is no second first kiss it is a one timer. The moment a caterpillar turns into a butterfly comes one time only. Pride is not claiming back what has been given. Pride and beauty is not using the sword in the effort of giving value to something that has been gifted in joy, that would steal and stain it. Blood would only stain that magic. You taught me that. My pride is being happy of not having two lives, but one only. One only gift. Being human and not playing false Gods.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, you are a good wolf, it is not tiredness what I feel.Wolf, I have one thing to ask. I read only half of us is made of flesh, the other half is made of dreams. What happens if the dreams get shattered, the ones that give us life?

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, will we exist only as halves? Do we change? Will we wander incomplete and half as what we can be and born to be?

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, you are a good wolf. I don’t wanna die.Maybe it was a life lesson, it is not for me to know.I can stay here though. It’s still raining, rain is life. It’s still raining, till it rains I can stay here.

𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦n 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥.

‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Wolf, I like the rain.
Rain is kisses, Let me stay out here.

by Kitty Michelle

Survival: The Change {1}

‘Wolf, I don’t wanna die”

“Girl, death may only come when you think about her. Are You going to allow her into your world?

“Wolf, no. I don’t intend to.”

“Girl, I have been protecting you, feeding you, giving you shelter and more. My time is gone. You grew, you blossomed and now I don’t do that anymore, your life does not depend on me anymore, nor belongs to me. 
You live, you have something greater and we are happy”

“Wolf, it is because I am happier than ever that I don’t want to lose, anything about my path. 
I learnt that only when you have something you can be afraid to lose”

“Girl, true, but it is also true that when you got something precious that you truly treasure, then you are stronger. More than that, when you believe, you are indestructible. 
That You must be. 
That is how you must feel, how I know you feel. Right?”

“Wolf, I don’t fear for me. I saw, touched and embraced the Fire, I got more I ever thought i would have in this life.
It is not for me I fear, not anymore.”

“Girl, You choose and you feel blessed. 
Go all the way. 
Just go all the way. 
There is no other way for those like you.
The flames might burn you but knowing it is your fate and what you wish, does shield. You will feel no pain, whatever happens.”

“Wolf, maybe sometimes I am like a small girl: silly, impulsive, seeing it all simple, thinking all in this world can be solved with smiles, a leap on the lap of Goddess Joy, and kissy giggly words spoken from the heart to Goddess Love. Then it is as if the adults world says no, comes to me, attacks and wants to tear all of my world apart.”

“Girl, You be You. 
Maybe you are right, or maybe not, but this is your way. 
Don’t worry, you will not die, at most you will exist through all you lived.”

“Wolf. That’s not of great comfort, thank You.”

“Girl, then cling in what you have, get all the wounds you will have to get, wear them, and go on. Dress Yourself of lotus flowers, be that silly girl, wear a katana if you need, or a fluffy tail. 
There’s nothing wiser and stronger than being aware, being joy, being what we are.”

Wolf, it’s raining. 
It is a good day to be out here with you.”